The Surprising Reason Men Always Choose Certain Women (And Overlook Others)

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Tanya had been told she was "amazing", "a great catch" and "total girlfriend material" by the men she'd dated.

All those kind words only made her feel worse, because no matter how great they said she was, they still weren't choosing her.

So either these men weren't telling the truth, or there was something wrong with her that made them leave.

"It made me feel broken," she said. "Why am I never enough for the men I really want? I just want someone to choose me."

Women have been asking why a man chooses one woman and overlooks another for as long as men and women have been getting together.

Dating and relationship coach Clayton Max has an answer, and it draws on a paper published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior: men don't choose women for logical reasons.

"It's not about checking all the boxes on a man's list of what makes his perfect girl," Max says. "And a woman can't convince a man to want to be with her."

In fact, when a woman tries to convince a man, pressures him or keeps showing him how amazing she is, it usually backfires, because those behaviours signal the opposite of what makes a man sure she's the one.

"The reality is," according to Max, "men choose women who do one thing and one thing only. They choose women who make them feel the powerful emotion of INFATUATION."

The research the program draws on describes infatuation as "involuntary and uncontrollable". When a man's infatuation instinct is switched on, it no longer matters whether a woman has every quality he thought he was looking for.

He'll make time for her. He'll rearrange his life for her. Max tells the story of one friend who moved across the country to be with the woman who made him feel this way.

So how does a woman switch on a man's infatuation instinct, so he's sure she's the one he wants?

Clayton Max explains it in this free video presentation.

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